Dear 2020…

They say breaking up is hard to do, but we always knew this would come to an end, and now that it is here, I have more to say to you than just good-bye.  

Things started off so promising. Everyone was excited to see you. 

I honestly didn’t think much about you before you came. I just thought you were fun to say.  I mean, “twenty-twenty” had a certain bounce when I spoke it like “twenty-nineteen” never had!

Things were fine for a short while, and then you showed signs of being a small threat to things I held so dear. You were a threat to my normalcy.  

No big deal right?  

But your threat was more menacing than I could have ever imagined 10 months ago.  It grew to consume nearly every aspect of my life.  I didn’t know that was even possible – but you, 2020, showed me that almost anything is possible – good and bad. 

You had every intention of turning my world upside down and keeping me in my place.  You managed to put a level of fear in me that I had not felt since I was a little girl afraid of nuclear missles hitting my home from the Russian Soviet Union.  

You had me for a while, but you could not keep me. 

You took away so much, not just from me, but from everyone who knew you!  You bullied your way through each day with just one more thing to add to your list of scandal and transgressions.  It got to the point that I began to laugh at your sinister tactics, but they were anything but funny.  

But the truth is, 2020, you gave more than you ever intended, which is why I am writing this letter. You were a gift in the worst wrapping, but still the same – a gift.  

I guess what I really need to say to you, 2020, is THANK YOU!  Thank you for being who you were to me and to millions of others.  Thank you for threatening me with your looming dispositions of fear and uncertainty.  It made me fearless.

Your clamoring roar to remind me that tomorrow is not promised began to whisper to my heart affirmations of truth – who I am is enough…right here…right now…  

Your threats stirred a fight in me that had been hushed, and there is no going back.  In your attempt to lock me down, you have freed me.  Even now, as our relationship ends, I smile, because this fight has only just begun – and I like the fighter!

Because of you, I have learned how to hold my family close and that time with them, even through a screen, is more valuable than anything I could ever purchase.   Thank you, 2020!

Because of you, I have learned to slow down and smell the roses, and I literally thank God every morning I wake up with the ability to smell those roses.  Thank you, 2020!

Because of you, I have learned that people are capable of the worst things, but they are also capable of the best things. And that good outweighs the bad.  Thank you, 2020!

2020, you owe me nothing. I recognize my blessings more because of you! Truth is, you were a blessing in disguise.

You can rest tonight knowing that you have done all that you were destined to do and your legacy is more valued than you proposed. 

2021 is waiting to give things a try.  I hold no expectations, but I am hopeful!

My hope has always been in something greater.  That hope gave me courage and saw me through the end of our time together.  I trust it to do the same with 2021. 

Good-bye forever, 2020!

With gratitude, 

Traci

Traci D. Fuller, Pearls and Pretty Pens © 2020

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