Have you ever felt as if you could never live up to the expectations some people have for you?
It’s not the feeling of not being good enough, but more of a sense that you are not who they think you ought to be.
Yesterday, a phone conversation of gospel artist Kirk Franklin was leaked and went viral within a matter of minutes. In it, his estranged 33-year-old son records Kirk blasting threats towards him and using foul language in the process.
Like most viral videos and audios, we don’t hear the entire conversation – we only hear the part that will get the biggest reaction and the most shares. Kirk’s reaction to whatever his son said or did was enough to catch the attention of even the wordiest sailor.
Reactions were extreme and plentiful on both ends.
Some took a heavy disdain for his reaction, while some sided with Mr. Franklin and empathized with his emotional outburst towards a grown child that was disrespectful.
I am a fan of Kirk Franklin.
Although I was stunned at his reaction, I have two daughters and I can say that there have been days that they have driven me to react and say things I never thought were possible the day that the nurse put their tiny and perfect little bodies in my arms to hold the day they were born.
Like most of us, Mr. Franklin is dealing with the burden of living up to the expectation of others. This can be both exhausting and overwhelming. It is one thing to always have eyes on you like famous people, but are we guilty of allowing ourselves to be judged day to day willingly?
How often do you struggle with doing what people expect of you? Probably more often than we would even care to acknowledge, and it can be devastating when trying to walk in our purpose.
Living up to the expectations of others is a form of pleasing others, and when we live to please others, we can’t please God.
God created you the way you are for a reason and He did not make a mistake!
None of us are perfect and trying to be perfect in the eyes of others can be self-destructive.
We are all different and unique in a special way.
One thing I tell my daughters is that if God had intended for us to be the same and even sing His praises in the same way, He wouldn’t have created over 10,000 species of birds!
I am a wife of a pastor who also teaches music… that doesn’t mean I am supposed to direct the church choir.
The truth is, there is a part of me that would love to stay very far from the choir stand on Sunday mornings.
In the same manner, just because your circumstances are similar to someone else’s does not mean you have to strive for the same outcome as that ‘someone else’!
We have all been uniquely gifted and we should use our gifts the way God exclusively designed each of us to. And sometimes that means doing the unexpected.
You know that thing that you are good at but it’s not the standard way to do it? Well, God gave you that unique flare! Do it for His glory and watch Him make way for your talent. He loves variety!
(read Ephesians 2:10)
I wanted to use a Kirk Franklin song today for obvious reasons. “Love Theory” touches on the subject of what God’s love looks like.
Whether or not you were offended by the words that Kirk Franklin spoke to his son, Kirk has every right to be himself.
Try replacing the word ‘love’ with ‘please’ towards the end, and you will quickly see where our focus should be with expectancies.
Remember, we should live to please God because His love conquers all expectations.