5 Ways to Effectively “Beat Yourself Up”

Sometimes I get on my last nerves…

I have the best ideas, the wildest dreams, biggest ambitions, and the greatest intentions… but I get in my way!

There are days when I know I stop myself from living up to my full potential, but I just stand there like a helpless bystander and let “Traci” get away with so many things. I can’t stand her sometimes! Just who in the world does she think she is?? I could be so much further along with my goals and dreams, but “Traci” continues to hold me back. I need to confront her once and for all. She needs a good “beat down”!

Have you ever felt this way?

If you have ever wished you could put yourself in a boxing ring and take it all out on yourself, here are a few things I learned about effectively “fighting” yourself up and coming out victorious in the end.

First of all, Fighting is the Easy Way Out!

Yes, I know I got your attention with the title, and some of you were ready to beat yourself up, but the truth is, beating yourself up is a form of excuses for inadequate behaviors.

We bring judgment on ourselves when we belittle and beat ourselves up. It is similar to the reason we judge others. If we don’t like something (or if we don’t understand it) or can’t control it – we belittle it, we judge it, and we fight it!

BUT we can control our behavior, so stop making excuses!

There is a level of comfort in self-judgment and beating yourself up. It’s a way of unveiling something that needs to change, but still allowing room to do nothing about it at all.

“I don’t work out because I am so lazy – I’m a lazy and a horrible person”, or “I haven’t written that book yet because I’m too busy and I can’t find the time to do it – I will never be a disciplined writer”.

You’re not lazy and horrible, you just don’t like getting up to work out more than surfing the internet or watching TV. You have all the time you need to write your book, you just choose to do other things that may or may not be legitimately take up that time.

Maybe we judge ourselves and beat ourselves up because we don’t want to change enough!

Find Your Inner Coach

Think of yourself as a COACH! A good coach is truthful and tough when they need to be.

Remember in High School how your PE coach would yell at you from the sidelines when you were running the mile? They may have threatened your grades or your place in the game if you stopped, but (hopefully), they never made you feel so bad that you wanted to crawl into a corner and never face the world again.

Here are a few phrases a good coach says that you can start telling yourself today:

  • “Let’s go! Let’s go!”
  • “Move your butt, (Traci)”
  • “That’s it! Do it again!”
  • “Keep it up ….. Don’t look back!”
  • “You can do better than that!”
  • “What was that??? Try it again”
  • “Alright! Good job”
  • “Ok, get some rest…we start early tomorrow”

We know that beating ourselves up is a cop-out, so start self-coaching your way to discipline! Be as tough as you want to be but know where to draw the line and don’t cross it!

Know Your Weaknesses and Call Them Out

My daughters charge their electronics in our bedroom at night, and one evening, I confessed that I would sometimes grab my phone before my bible in the morning! They suggested that I charge MY electronics in the kitchen so that I could keep my priorities straight! We compromised and I now charge my phone on a shorter cord away from my bed. They love to check on me from time to time to see how I’m doing with that matter (I think they like the idea of “disciplining” me).

We all have weaknesses, but if we are afraid to admit them or talk about them, we can never master them.

If you have not told your family that ice-cream is your weakness and you are trying to lose weight, don’t get upset when someone comes home with a treat from your favorite ice-cream parlor.

Write out the things that are getting in the way of your self-discipline. Don’t’ stop there. Talk about it with those who care about you. Don’t allow them to make you feel bad about them, just let them know that you see your weaknesses and you have every intention of mastering them!

Do Something That Scares You a Little, Everyday!

I remember when I was afraid to walk early in the mornings before the sun rose. I had seen one too many scary movies and crime investigation shows to venture out before daylight in that capacity. But running in the morning was the only time I had to spare for exercise during the day.

I joined a group that met a few days a week at a local park to walk/run. We were a group of women and our goal was to encourage each other on the fitness journey and to look out for each other when we were out. We started and ended our set courses in numbers for safety.

We didn’t know each other in the beginning. Most of us were friends of friends, but new friendships quickly developed because of our common goal.

The first few meets were a little scary and out of my comfort zone, but it ended up being one of the most rewarding experiences with “working out” so far.

If something scares you – but you want to do it – find a way to make it happen! It’s a double whammy! You face fear and you respect yourself a little more for taking on the challenge!

Interval Training…A Little Goes a Long Way

When I was young and my family would watch television together, my mom would challenge the entire family to pick up something during a commercial! We didn’t have the luxury of fast-forwarding through commercials, so we used them to “pick up 10 or 20 things” each. Before we knew it, the entire house was CLEAN in just a few commercial breaks!

Train yourself to do a project that you DON’T want to do in 1 minute….5 minutes… 15 minutes! If you don’t finish it – you can come back to it later! Or better yet, once you start it, you will realize that the project is worth doing, and you stick it out until it’s done.

To wrap it up…

I’m not going to beat myself up because I love myself and I know I deserve better. I don’t need a “beat down”, and neither do you!

Today is a new day, and even though tomorrow is not promised, it’s not set in stone either. Are you willing to work for it?

Yes, I believe we can get on our very own last nerves, but I also firmly believe that we can do all things through Him who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13).

Take your boxing gloves off and put your working gloves on!

Little POW-wow, Pearls of Wisdom

· Sometimes the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve certain goals can become overwhelming, especially when we want to go the distance. Take a moment to reflect on your accomplishments today…this week…this year. How have you “inched” towards your dreams?

· When was the last time you coached yourself? Try stating the coaching lines suggested earlier in a mirror. How does it make you feel?

Tune My Heart…

Rachel Platten is an Emmy Award winner, multi-platinum selling recording artist. Her hit single “Fight Song” has resonated hope, strength, and resilience since 2014. It justifies that you don’t have to beat yourself up to take back your life, but a willingness to fight for it is required.


Traci D. Fuller, Pearls and Pretty Pens © 2020

One Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s